Thursday, March 08, 2007

Blogging Blues

I have just spent five days in the jungle. I could tell a tale of a steep, jungle-clad valley with a deep aqua-lime river winding through it. I could spin a yarn of thousands of indignant bats and a 2 metre emerald lizard. I could sketch a scene from days past of villagers digging themselves into caves, squeezed between hanging tree-roots and glittering stalagmites, to hide from invading soldiers... but I'm not going to... because I have the Blogging Blues.

What do I have to do to please you people?! Huh?! [assuming 'you people' are not actually a figment of my imagination]. What must I do to get a reaction? I thought Lablita would tug at your heart strings and squeeze a response out of you... but it seems little Labli left you cold. I thought the episode in Ging Ging Cafe would raise a few questions about the nature of tourism and cultures colliding... but apparently you didn't even raise an eyebrow. I had hoped that my Ferry troubles or my bizarre reception in Sibuyan might amuse you! But I guess not. Are you really so world-weary? Have you really heard it all before? [sigh]

After consideration, there are two possible reasons for this total wall of cyber-silence:

1. I have no readers. You are in fact my latest imaginary friends. Sadly imaginary friends can't make comments, encourage or criticise. As friends go, they're rubbish.

2. I have readers, but I have [as yet] completely failed to engage, interest or entertain you.

So what do I do? Are my blogs too long? Too short? To much about myself? Too much about other people? To much about people all together and not enough action? Does my blog need a flamboyantly evil villain and a couple of really good tricycle chases? Or some naked celebrities perhaps? Am I too random? Too glib? [grin] Not glib enough? [cheeky grin]

In case anyone was wondering, I am not in the luxurious position of needing a comments policy. So whatever you write will go up! Perhaps you are unsure of what a constitutes a comment? This online dictionary defines it as:

"a remark, observation, or criticism; gossip; talk; a criticism or interpretation, often by implication or suggestion; a note in explanation, expansion, or criticism of a passage in a book, article, or the like; explanatory or critical matter added to a text"

Which is more or less the same as my definition of a comment:

"anything, ANYTHING, that lets me know you're out there and I'm not just writing this for my Dad!"

Don't get me wrong! My Dad is a small, but worthy, audience and I shall continue to write this solely for him [and in the hope that I may pick-up a few stragglers on the way].

But for now, I'm going to the beach, to reflect upon the last few crazy days... that lizard! Crikey! It would've made a great blog. You [if you exist] missed out.

I'm not even gonna tell you what this is. But it looks to me like it might have a plan for world domination...


botogol said...

I'm still reading!
No one comments on my blog either :-(

This is how it works..

botogol said...

So, tell us about the jungle....

Anonymous said...

Bet we're all reading (just too quietly!) A great blog - real insight into another culture. Keep at it & I'd luv to hear about the jungle ... Ahh go on, go on, go on!

Anonymous said...

I'm still here!
Lots of love Dad xxx

outside-jane said...

Hmmmm, so it seems I have 4 readers - you 3 and my mate Em [who emailed]. But this site has had nearly 100 hits since my last post - so sombody's looking [although maybe not reading]. Ha! I bet they were all looking for Naked Celebrities! Fooled you! [snigger]

Anonymous said...

I'm here! I made it in! Hooray!! Hmmm, I feel like I just blew all my pertinent points for comment in my email to you.... Damn... I'll be back though...(and in greater numbers!)


Anonymous said...

Stay cool :)

Anonymous said...

Another imaginary friend here. I'm enjoying the angst as much as the slices of life, so nearly didn't stick my oar in.

But then we wouldn't want you to stop would we?