Monday, November 13, 2006

Friday, November 10, 2006

I go around around around...

I haven't blogged in ages. Not sure why! I still read lots of blogs [loving you all!] and still regularly remind myself to sit down & write one [smile] but to no avail. I guess I've had lots on my mind recently.

I am leaving the country again soon [not sure exactly when - nothing is booked yet. Not sure exactly where! Although the Philippines is looking like a strong contender] which I am both looking forward to and daunted by!

Yes! Me! Daunted! Well it's true, I will be moving out of my flat next weekend and I feel weird about that, I will be giving up work about the same time and most of all, over the next week or so, I will be saying good-bye to lots of friends.

But what really scares me, is that moment [coming soon] when I will be getting on the plane, just me and my [beloved] pack and setting out 'into the world' once again - homeless, friendless and aimless [grin].

Of course I can be rational! I am not an urban creature! I know that! I am a wanderer and when I get moving I will be fine. In fact [if past experiences are anything to go by] I will quickly feel more comfortable and 'at home' than I have done since I last got back! But that doesn't make it any easier...

Recently, I have been corresponding with a good friend who has been doing some soul-searching with regard to his choices and how he makes them. We have both come to the conclusion that happiness is not something that just happens to you. Happiness is something that we must actively choose and pursue. The irony is that the steps needed to pursue that happiness may not be happy ones! That is how I feel right now. I want to leave, I believe that I need to leave in order to pursue my happiness. But leaving anywhere is never easy.