I haven't blogged in ages. Not sure why! I still read lots of blogs [loving you all!] and still regularly remind myself to sit down & write one [smile] but to no avail. I guess I've had lots on my mind recently.
I am leaving the country again soon [not sure exactly when - nothing is booked yet. Not sure exactly where! Although the Philippines is looking like a strong contender] which I am both looking forward to and daunted by!
Yes! Me! Daunted! Well it's true, I will be moving out of my flat next weekend and I feel weird about that, I will be giving up work about the same time and most of all, over the next week or so, I will be saying good-bye to lots of friends.
But what really scares me, is that moment [coming soon] when I will be getting on the plane, just me and my [beloved] pack and setting out 'into the world' once again - homeless, friendless and aimless [grin].
Of course I can be rational! I am not an urban creature! I know that! I am a wanderer and when I get moving I will be fine. In fact [if past experiences are anything to go by] I will quickly feel more comfortable and 'at home' than I have done since I last got back! But that doesn't make it any easier...
Recently, I have been corresponding with a good friend who has been doing some soul-searching with regard to his choices and how he makes them. We have both come to the conclusion that happiness is not something that just happens to you. Happiness is something that we must actively choose and pursue. The irony is that the steps needed to pursue that happiness may not be happy ones! That is how I feel right now. I want to leave, I believe that I need to leave in order to pursue my happiness. But leaving anywhere is never easy.
Habitual nomad finding a home. In more than 14 years of haphazard wandering I've visited 28 countries on five continents. I've climbed five volcanoes - they smell awful. I've dived with sharks - they're beautiful. I have never seen a badger. I've lived and worked in Australia, Canada, the US, Mexico, Honduras, Guatemala and the Philippines. I once spent four months at sea working on a fishing boat. I have successfully bribed a customs official. I can't sing in tune. I have witnessed an animal sacrifice. I have seen a bear shit in the woods. I am a stranger in my own country. I am an atheist. I don’t believe a civilised society should be tolerant of ignorance. I like people who can spell. Dark chocolate makes me weak. Crowds make me nervous. I have principles. I am a Graphic Designer. I am a Yoga Teacher. I am a Dive Instructor. I loiter without intent. I can, quite happily, watch paint dry.
"And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." — T. S. Eliot
"Don’t go off sightseeing. The real journey is right here. The great excursion starts from exactly where you are. You are the world. You have everything you need. You are the secret. You are the wide opened. Don’t look for the remedy for your troubles outside yourself. You are the medicine. You are the cure for your own sorrow." — Rumi
"It is to be remarked that a good many people are born curiously unfitted for the fate waiting them on this earth." — Joseph Conrad
"You don't get reformed - you just run out of wind." — Carlito's Way